


Blood Runs Thick

by BrianPupper



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead Series - Robert Kirkman & Jay Bonansinga
Genre: Alternate Ending, Brother Feels, Brothers, Character Death, M/M, Power Dynamics, Power Imbalance, Woodbury (Walking Dead)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:09:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23887984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrianPupper/pseuds/BrianPupper
Summary: Major spoiler warning. An alternate ending of Rise of the Governor. Brian Blake goes to great lengths to get through to his beloved brother, Philip, resulting in a violent power struggle and painful decisions. Is it possible for the Blake brothers to return to a semi-normal life after all the things Philip has done?
Relationships: Brian Blake/Real Philip Blake (Walking Dead: Rise of the Governor)
Kudos: 4





	1. First Blood

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hello friends! This fanfic contains major spoilers for Rise of the Governor, and I encourage you to read the book if you haven't already before reading this fanfic. There may be incest later. I haven't decided. I hope quarantine is treating you well. Keep social distancing and stay safe. If you enjoyed this, and want more ROTG fanfics, please leave a review with your thoughts and ideas and I will consider them. This fandom is so under-rated, yo.

> **_“Don’t worry about it, Brian. Nicky’s always been a talker. He ain’t got the stones to shoot somebody who’s still alive.”_ **
> 
> **_Nick trembles furiously._ **
> 
> **_Brian watches, frozen with indecision._ **

He sees a flash of determination in Nick's eyes, and the slightest movement of his finger on the trigger. Then that voice, dropping low with the weight of Nick's final call to end Philip's life. "Have mercy on us all."

The thought of losing his brother takes over before Nick can do the deed. Brian raises the .38 and sends a blast through his beloved friend's skull, tears streaming down his face as he trembles with regret, watching Nick Parsons crumple to the ground with the final twitches of life leaving his body.

Philip drops the girl he had been dragging. For the first time in a long time, his eyes flash with deep emotions long since forgotten. Grief for his friend. Love and pride for his brother for making a hard decision. Guilt that his own actions had driven things to this point.

Brian rips the cuffs off the girl. "Run." He tells her, and she stumbles to her feet and is gone in seconds. He grabs Philip's frail frame by the collar and slams him to the ground, choking him with his fist. "Look what you fucking made me do." He growls. "And don't you dare fuckin' tell me he wasn't. He was gonna kill you Philip. Your best friend was gonna kill you and I almost let him. Look what you've become. This isn't you." His hands were shaking, watching Philip tear up only made him angrier.

He let all the rage he had repressed flow through him, pulling back his arm and laying a punch right to his brother's cheek.

"Things are changing 'round here." He breathed.

Philip, who had lost a lot of weight from stress and grief for his daughter as well as simple lack of supplies, still had enough strength to throw Brian onto his back. He pinned him down, seething, staring into his brother's eyes.

For a moment, Brian felt the usual fear returning to him. He was still frail from the brutal beatings after Penny's death. He wouldn't survive another round like that.

He swallowed, pressing a finger to the pressure point in Philip's shoulder before he could start, flipping him back over and kneeing him in the groin to immobilize him. Philip howled in pain, and Brian pushed him down harder.

“Nick didn’t die for nothin’. I killed him to save you. Now be a person worth saving.” Brian could feel his brother’s strength draining, feel him giving up. He looked at Nick’s body, then shifted off of Philip to drag Nick aside. “I’m going to dig a grave. You’re going to put your daughter out of her misery. Then we’re going to clean up and make a life together.” He looked at Philip, who looked like he was going to cry. “Respect your elders.”

Philip barely put himself together, sitting up for a long moment. Then slowly, he walked away toward their old house.

He didn’t know if he could do it. But Brian had jarred him into a place where he remembered that he had to. It wasn’t Penny in there.

Brian checked the body with trembling hands, taking a moment to caress the face of what was once his friend. He looked at the angle of the bullet, trying to determine if he had killed the brain. Nick deserved better than to come back as one of them, not even for a second.   
  


He sat with him, catching his breath, cradling his fallen friend’s face in his hand. Slender fingers traced every feature of his face as he moved him to his lap and held him. “I’m sorry Nick. I’m sorry. I know you were trying to do the right thing.” He whispered.

“Your death ain’t gonna be in vain. I promise you that.”

He moved to find a shovel, watching the sun as it began to set in the sky. He began digging, into the late hours of the night. Once he was coated in sweat and standing next to a suitable grave, he lifted Nick and lowered him into the dirt, struggling with the weight of another human in his exhausted state.

“I know you’d want a prayer. Was never much the religious type. But you were like a brother to me. ‘Specially toward the end.”   
  
He paused. “I could say blood runs thicker than water, Nick, but I just don’t know. I don’t know if I did the right thing. I don’t know.” He was sobbing at this point between breaths, tears streaming down his cheeks and his neck, mingling with the sweat and grease.

He barely managed to pile the dirt back over the body, dragging himself back to their Woodbury home. The adrenaline had carried him this entire time, and the pain and exhaustion were catching up quickly.

He didn’t even bother to check on Philip before he passed out in his bed.


	2. Loose Ends

Brian woke up in the morning to the sound of bawling. The previous night’s activities had not registered in his brain yet, at least, not until he stumbled out of the room and saw Philip, alone, with his head in his hands and a gun on the ground.

His heart twisted into a knot at the sight of his younger brother in tears. The only question in his mind was,  _ Why was that gun there?  _ And it sent a thousand other thoughts, like tendrils, consuming his mind.  _ Was he going to kill me? Did he finally do the deed with Penny? Was he going to take his own life? _   
  
He slowly moved to pick the gun up from the ground. The safety was off, and he turned it on, sliding it into his pocket and sitting down next to Philip. A blistered hand came to rest on Philip’s shoulder, and Brian glanced at the painful red swells on his palm. He had been digging all night in a fit of mania.

Nick was dead. It just hit him. Never again would the brothers hear that voice of reason. Brian had to be that voice now, and he didn’t know if he was strong enough.

Philip tensed at the hand on his back, and he tried to stop sobbing. Brian squeezed his shoulder, a silent permission, then spoken aloud. “Let it out. It’s okay.”

Philip looked at him gasping. “I couldn’t do it.”

Brian let out a sigh of relief. So most likely, Philip had tried to end Penny’s suffering, but failed. That was a lot better than some of the other things he might have done.   
  
“You have to. But let it out first. Cry it all out, brother. I’m never going to judge you. But I’m not going to let you keep spiraling into whatever the fuck you are becoming.” There was a long pause, and they looked at each other, a silent agreement passing between them as Philip gave half of a nod.

Brian wrapped his arms around Philip, squeezing him firmly. He was so thin, and he could really feel the frailness of his beloved brother’s form now. He buried his face in his hair and breathed him in. “Te amo, hermanito.” He whispered, words that he hadn’t said since their childhood.  _ I love you, little brother. _ It had been a long time since Philip felt like the  _ hermanito _ .

“Te amo man.” Philip muttered, his muscles slacking under the embrace, large hands spreading over Brian’s shoulders, holding them together. The tears were coming back, and it felt simultaneously awful and relieving to let them out.

A small smile crossed Brian’s lips. Philip’s accent was terrible, but he wasn’t going to criticize that right now. Whenever their mother had spoken Spanish, their father would yell at her to  _ speak American _ . The boys had picked up some words and phrases. She always made sure they knew  _ te amo _ . Brian, however, had taken a few Spanish classes in college. Every time their old man wasn’t present, either mentally or physically, he had proudly spoken Spanish with his  _ Mama _ .

It was one of the few things Philip had felt jealous of Brian for. Whatever genetic tenderness and warmth their mother had didn’t make it into Philip’s gene pool, but he loved their mother more than life itself.

He cried for her. He cried for their father, who tried his best to fight his demons to be a good man. The man who had put food on the table, laughed with them, taught them to hunt and fish, and beaten them both to a pulp over damn near nothing.

He cried, because he still had no idea what had happened to them, but seeing Atlanta for the first time months ago had told him in his heart that they were gone.

Brian held him, running his fingers through his long, scraggly black hair. He absentmindedly tried to straighten out his hair. It was a greasy mess, and he knew his wasn’t much better. The two of them needed to bathe at some point after all of this.

There was a long moment of quiet as Brian closed his eyes and held Philip, time standing still. The soft gurgle of the Penny-thing in the other room reminded the older of the two what needed to be done. A soft sigh left him, and he murmured, “We’ll do it together.”


	3. Standing Ground

Brian had taken on the makeshift ‘leader’ role that Philip once had, though there were only two of them, so it was more that he was no longer making excuses for Philip’s behavior. The idea of putting a bullet through the little girl’s head made both of them sick, but Philip was avoidant in terms of making the final plan to do it.

After a few more days and increasing tension. Brian knew he had to make this happen.

  
  
“She’s gettin’ restless.” Philip said, staring off into the dark room that Penny was chained in. “I think she needs to eat.”

  
  
“I think you forgot what I said to you.” Brian snapped, taking a breath.

“She’s  _ my _ little girl. The decision ain’t yours.” Philip was reverting rapidly to his old mindset, and there had been some absent wandering that Brian hadn’t questioned, because Philip usually came back with food. The idea of letting things go back to how they were again made a knot form in Brian’s stomach.

He had to muster the confidence he had when he killed Nick. He had to remember that things were decidedly  _ different _ now, and they couldn’t let them go back, or it was a dishonor to the man’s passing.

“I didn’t kill Nicky out there to have you go right back to making our lives a living hell.” He realized he said  _ our _ , and that word no longer had meaning. “Making  _ my _ life a living hell.” He corrected. “I ain’t gonna live with a killer, rapist, whatever you’re doing out there with those people, Penny’s  _ meals _ . This is a slippery fuckin’ slope and you’ve been down it a long time. We’re coming back now.”

Philip approached Brian with a tense stance, ready to snap him up and throttle him. Brian rose and stood his ground, hand on the gun holster on his hip. “ _ No _ . Don’t even try it.”

“What, you gonna put me down like you did Nicky? You’re a fucking killer, Brian. Never saw that coming.” Philip scoffed, gesturing to the hand on the gun.

  
That one certainly cut Brian deep, but he didn’t budge or let it show. He swallowed hard, shaking his head. “I ain’t.” There were tears streaming down his face, but he didn’t realize it. His expression didn’t change. “This isn’t how things are gonna go down no more, though. I’m telling you Philip, what happened that night changed me, and I’m done playing this game with you. You’re all I’ve got.”

“ _ She’s _ all I’ve got.” Philip said, voice quivering with emotion. “Brian, she’s all I’ve got left.”

  
  
“But you don’t. That ain’t her, Philip. But this is  _ me _ . I know I ain’t much, but I’m your brother, and I’m  _ here _ . We either stick together or one of us winds up alone.” He paused a moment, looking down at the floor. “If that’s her in there, think about how hard it would be to exist like that. To be a monster, to constantly try to rip your uncle or your daddy’s arm off. That’s not Penny, something else has her, and we need to end it.”

For the second or third time, Brian had talked Philip down, and the tension fell apart into an air of abysmal darkness. The energy in the room shifted in immeasurable ways. But that was almost the norm now, it seemed like it happened every other day since Nick had died.

Philip slumped down to the floor, holding his head in his hands and breathing in gasps.

Brian relaxed his hand on the gun, kneeling beside his brother and running his fingers through his hair. “The sooner we get this over with, the sooner it’ll stop hurting. It’s gonna hurt like a bitch, but we gotta move on. This is the only way we move on.”

  
  
“You don’t just move on from something like this, Brian.” Philip said, his words cutting like venom between sobs. “You don’t understand, you don’t have a child. You could never understand what it’s like to lose one.”

“You ain’t wrong there. I loved Penny like my own, but I won’t pretend it’s the same.” He said with a deep breath. “But it isn’t  _ her _ , Philip. That’s my whole point. I know you’re hearin’ me, I know you are, cause you wouldn’t be crying if you weren’t.” There had to be some way to get through to him. With the way the residents of Woodbury were, it was a joke to even think that there was any kind of mental health professional, like a therapist or psychiatrist or something. It was doubtless that everyone nowadays had something going on in their heads, and tenderness wasn’t the most abundant resource, to put it lightly. “There’s a reason I ain’t just… done it myself. I want you to be able to do that, if it’s what you need to do. But I thought we were going to do it together.”

“We are.” Philip finally said, at last making a verbal agreement that it was going to happen. “We’re going to do it together. Let’s fucking get it over with already.” He was sick of deteriorating over this, if it was going to kill him, it may as well kill him now.

Philip unhooked the chain, Brian standing behind him as the little girl thrashed and growled, hungry. The two brothers walked up onto the secluded hill behind town center. The decision had been made that a gun was the most humane method, it was quick, clean, and left little margin for error.

Brian drove a stake into the ground to chain her up to, and Philip carried a shovel, to dig a grave. “Alright now,” Brian said, sitting down on a tree stump and taking a breath. “Are you ready, Philip?”   
  
Philip stared at the little girl he had loved from the second she was born, tears welling up in his eyes as he drew a gun from his pocket. Brian couldn’t help but be on guard, forever uncertain if Philip would twist into that monster again and kill Brian for daring to push him into this. But Philip was in his own little world with the living ghost of Penny right now. It took him a while to work through all his thoughts, but he stepped up to her, pressing the muzzle to her skull. “Sleep now, Penny, daddy loves you. Forever.”

He pulled the trigger, immediately dropping the gun and collapsing to his knees, so cried out he didn’t even have a sob left in him. It was like all of the life he had drained from him the moment it drained from her.

Brian let the silence hang for a few moments, before moving to dig the grave. Philip was still, only the occasional, heavy, shaky breath sounding from him. He stayed there, completely disassociating from reality, as if his mind was unable to comprehend the finality of what had just happened.

  
The soft and rhythmic sound of dirt being thrown into the pile behind the hole was the only thing keeping Philip grounded.

Brian wiped the sweat from his brow, sitting down on the stump again and trying to get his brother’s attention without pressuring him to respond. “You know, I’m proud of you.” Silence. “I love you, I’m proud of you, and you ain’t gotta say nothin’.” Silence, but Philip glanced over to Brian and swallowed, giving half of a nod.

They had come out in mid-morning, and by the time they buried Penny and finally started walking back home, the sun was setting. Brian insisted they take a shower out by the lake sometime soon, but Philip grunted his first word in hours, “Tomorrow.”

Brian slept on the La-Z-Boy in the hallway, a light sleeper, hoping to hear if Philip came out of his room or did anything sketchy. The trust between the brothers was still severed, but Brian felt more secure in his new position now that one of the major problems was taken care of. It would take time for things to heal, and there was no telling what would happen before or after that.


	4. Sustaining Life

Philip had to go through the grieving process a second time, like the old wound was ripped back open again. The truth was, the wounds of grief never fully healed, and he had already been torn apart by so many other losses so recently beforehand that he was sure he was never going to be the same. He already knew he had become something else, an unstable mess of a person. Brian taking charge made his mind finally calm down from the fiery rage it was constantly in, and he was able to just sit there and process his feelings.

Supplies were running low, so Brian went out to find some. That night, he brought back cans of beans, pears, and even a candy bar. He had to do some shady things for that candy bar, but when he opened the bag and Philip saw it, it was the first time his brother had smiled in weeks.

“Who’s dick did you have to suck to get this?” He asked, blinking as he pulled back the wrapper. It was a little melted, but it smelled heavenly. He had a bite, then handed it to Brian. “Shit, I don’t even deserve it.” The flavor explosion on his tongue was more than enough to satisfy him for the moment.

Brian rubbed the back of his neck and let out a huff. The joke his brother had made was probably a little too close to home on what he had to do to get it. “Uh, well, you ain’t far off the mark there. Not a pleasant experience, but it got me this whole lot. Talked to another guy about how he goes out huntin’ for deer in the woods north of here. I was thinking we could take a trip together tomorrow and you can show me how to do it.”

Philip looked at him for a moment, unable to get past the comment. He stifled a laugh, even though he knew he shouldn’t be laughing at the state of the world that required his poor brother to do sexual favors for a candy bar. “Was he at least kind of cute?” He asked.

“What, the deer? I don’t fuckin’ know.” He realized what Philip was laughing about, and his eyes lit up with the bemusement of the situation. He’d really thought of it as a gross chore he had to do, but it was pretty  _ damn  _ strange to have to blow a big burly man to get a few cans of fruit. “Oh, fuck off man. It was nasty, okay? Like, nasty.” He couldn’t stop laughing as he took a bite of his prize, feeling  _ much _ better to rinse that taste out of his mouth with something better.

“The goddamn deer? You blew a fucking deer to get this shit?” Philip laughed even harder.   
  


“Oh man if you don’t quit…” Brian chuckled and stood over him, kneeing him in the hip and pushing him up against the wall with his free hand, still holding his precious candy bar. Philip playfully shoved him back, and Brian brushed himself off and sighed. “I kind of hate this fuckin’ place, man, it’s a shit hole. We need to start somethin’ sustainable so we don’t have to keep doing people weird favors for scraps.”

“Yeah, but we have shelter.” He shrugged, running his hand through his hair. That shower needed to happen, and he was feeling it. “Shelter and some semblance of food. Plus these people might suck, but there’s strength in numbers. I say we should see how hunting is before we try to jump ship.”

“Fine, but you’re blowing the supply guys next time.”

Philip glared at him and shook his head. “Hell no, man, I don’t swing that way. Didn’t they say something about porn last time? Maybe we can find some porn to trade instead.”

“That or money. Fuckin’ pigs, they have plenty of food. Pretty sure if we hunt down a deer, we’re gonna have to take it back in a big, like, duffel bag or something. I don’t want anyone in town knowing we have that much meat.”

“Yeah, not a bad plan.” Philip said, looking at his brother, his expression softening. “You were pretty chill about sucking a dude off. You into men?” His tone offered the same lack of judgement that Brian had offered when he confessed his sins with April.   
  
“And women, yeah. I never really told anyone who was close to me, but I’ve been to some parties back in college where I got to discover that.” Brian rubbed the back of his neck, realizing that was the first time he said that out loud. He glanced at Philip nervously. “I kind of… Just figured it wouldn’t go well if I told anyone in the family.”

Philip wasn’t great with words, and had never even considered such possibilities for himself, but he had no negative feelings about his brother’s confession. In fact, he had no strong feelings at all. It was the least of anyone’s worries nowadays who caught their eye sexually. “Yeah, you might be right about the family. But they ain’t here, and you’re still the same Brian to me.”

Brian wrapped up the candy bar to save it for later. He wasn’t used to that much artificial sugar anymore, it almost tasted too decadent. He pulled out a can of beans instead and cracked it open, starting to eat some. “It means a lot to me brother. I know it seems kinda petty, but I never came out to anyone in my entire fucking life, and I guess it’s nice to finally kick that off the bucket list.” He offered Philip some beans, to which he obliged.

“Never even thought about it. I guess I always just knew I liked women, and figured that was how it was.” He mumbled through a forkful of beans, chewing and swallowing. “I didn’t consider you could like, full-on like both. Even though I know women who are like that. Heck, pretty sure April mentioned being like that at some point.”

“Yeah, men can be too.” He realized Philip had mentioned April for the first time since their talk about her. It lit a fire of hope in his heart that his brother was starting to come back and heal from all the shit they’d been through.

“Huh. Maybe I’ll experiment with that and get us some more cans.” He joked, smirking and handing the beans back to Brian. The can was mostly empty, which was a good sign. Philip hadn’t been eating enough since Penny’s initial death.

“You kind of owe it to me, man. Gotta take one for the team.” Brian joked. “I’m kidding. We shouldn’t have to do that shit to survive, it’s fucked up. I’m hoping we can bag a deer out there tomorrow. You wanna wash up now, or then?”

“Fuck, now. I’ll bring the shotgun just in case we see one.” Philip got up and went to slip on his shoes. The beans had gotten his stomach rumbling for more, not to mention given him enough energy to make him realize he had been cooped up in the house for too long.

Brian slipped on his boots as well, packing a change of clean clothes into his bag, as well as some of the dirty ones. They would be walking out to the lake to wash off their dirty clothes and get a shower. He packed up the camp shower, zipping up his bag and hoisting it over his shoulder. “Alright, off we go.”

The brothers wandered out through the northern woods, light-footed and silent as they tried to keep an eye and ear out for signs of life. That included the walking dead, of course, but they hoped to find something a little more edible. Large game would be the best thing to find, but squirrels and chipmunks were a lot more common, as Brian had pointed out. Philip had to appreciate the practicality, so he agreed to be on the lookout for ‘little rodents’, even though they both wanted to devour a slab of venison and make a mountain of jerky for later.

Just as they were reaching the clearing to the lake, Brian heard some leaves rustle, and he froze, trying to pinpoint the direction. He put his hand on Philip’s shoulder so he’d stop crunching leaves with his boots, and they both sat there and tried to locate the animal.

To the left, there was another rustle, and a squirrel made it halfway up a tree, the movement catching their eyes. Brian slowly edged forward, pulling out his pocket knife.

Philip watched, crouching silently.

In a quick flash, Brian jabbed the knife into the little animal, the small squeak and writhing death throes mingling with the overarching sound of crickets. Like his first roamer kill, it took him by surprise that he had actually  _ done it _ . Maybe it was just a little squirrel, but it was…   
  
“Dinner!” Philip said, laughing and patting Brian on the back. “Alright. Let’s find some driftwood and start a little fire.” He noticed his brother’s beaming expression, and he laughed. “Wait, is that really your first catch?!”

“On land, yeah.” He said, pulling the thing off of the knife tip and wiping it off on his dirty pants. “I’ve caught a few fish before, but those kind of come to you...”

“Well good job man. Maybe we can go fishing too, though we’d have to makeshift some bait and a fishing rod. We’ll figure it out. No more blow jobs for candy bars.” He smirked, feeling like he might have to tease Brian about that for the rest of their lives.

“Goddamnit, you had a bite, too.”

  
“Man, that sounds wrong.”

“Fuck you, what are we, twelve?” Brian laid out his bag on some rocks near the river. He wrapped up the mammal in some rags he had in his bag, then went to help Philip gather firewood. They got a small fire going, then skinned and cooked up the squirrel to share it. Philip taught Brian to preserve the hide. The little pelt would be something Brian held onto as a souvenir… Maybe they could eventually make a winter coat out of them, if they caught enough.

It wasn’t a huge meal, but it was meat, and that was a rare resource these days. It gave the boys plenty of energy. All they had left to do was set up the camp shower and get washed up. Having a small stream of running water made that prospect a lot easier than it had been during their apartment dwelling days. They got to take long showers and really get clean, not to mention wash up the clothes with a little detergent they had held onto. By the time they got back home, they were in a position to get a good night's sleep, several of their neglected base needs being met.

Brian realized something vital as the day was winding down… He was no longer afraid to leave Philip alone. Only a few days had passed since the incident, and Philip already seemed more like himself. The two of them slept in their beds, feeling clean, refreshed, and well-fed.

Tomorrow, perhaps they would do some more hunting.


End file.
